The Film Junkie

Where the novel was a brilliant look at the vanity of culture, this film adaptation is the story of the brilliance of self-important art, which is fitting since it is little more than that itself.

This is the kind of film that is so obsessed with how brilliant it thinks it is that they forgot to put any effort into making it good.  It is the epitome of style over substance.  The acting is horrible, the directing is self-indulgent, and the writing (with the exception of the brilliant original Oscar Wilde tidbits) is ridiculous.

David Gallagher plays the title role like a model attempting to act for the first time.  He is certainly pleasing to look at but he holds none of the charisma Dorian should have.  Christian Camargo fits the Wilde style as Henry, Dorian’s guide in life, however he is at a distance from the style of the film.  His performance may come off as grating to some, however I see him as paying homage to Wilde and therefore it is the best performance of the film.

I suppose I am so upset by this film because I loved the book for all its snobbishness and homoerotic undertones.  It is a classic of the era and I couldn’t be more disappointed with this horrible adaption.

Grade: C-

I love my country, but we are not especially known for making good popular cinema.  Sure we have our art house directors and our horror master, but we have never been able to break into the mainstream cinema of our neighbours to the South.  Until now.

This film is everything I have always wanted from the movies that have tried to be crowd-pleasers before (see ‘Men With Brooms’, ‘Timeline’), it mocks our culture while also embracing it.  After all, we Canadians are known for our sense of humour.

The story follows one Ontario cop (Colm Feore) and one Quebec cop (Patrick Huard) brought together by a murder on the border between the two provinces.  Their superiors force them to be partners and hilarity ensures, right?  Sure, it all sounds like it has been done before, but this film is uniquely Canadian/Canadien because both partners are bilingual and thus they spend equal amounts of time speaking in English and French.  Also, the killer is murdering those members of the hockey community who had a hand in selling a major team to the US.

For once the budget works to make this a real action movie full of convincing explosions and great car chase scenes.  I am by no means an action fan, but this works so well because neither of the men is trying to be overly macho and when Huard’s cop does act full of bravado, he is taken down a peg.  Feore is a true Canadian treasure, he is all class and elegance, but he can also get down and dirty.  After all, this is the guy who played Trudeau and I buy him as a cop itching for a desk job.

Of course each man learns from the other, there is a great sex scene intercut with a fight scene, and the ending has a great classic line.  Perhaps the fact that both men are divorced and end up being interested in the main woman in the other man’s life is a little too perfect, and the fact that they both have children as single dads, but the beauty of this flick is that it is not trying to be realistic, just like every American buddy cop flick.

My main problem with the film is the villain, the Tattoo Killer (Patrice Belanger).  Belanger is simply not the same caliber actor as Feore and Huard and thus in their scenes together he seems as though he is acting in a bad student film.  I wish they had gone another way in the casting of this role, but it is a small issue in the grand scheme of things.

A knock down, drag out smash of a film.  No wonder it won so many Genies.

Grade: A-

And just like that The Wood-man is back in the game.  ‘Match Point’ proved that he still had the chops to make a good thriller and ‘Scoop’ shows that he is able to make a modern comedy like it was the mid-70’s all over again…okay, so maybe it’s not that good, but it’s a start.

Scarlett Johansson plays a student journalist who is vacationing in London when she meets the ghost of a famous British journalist (Ian McShane) who has discovered the scoop of a lifetime while crossing over.  She then sets about trying to prove that a wealthy aristocrat (Hugh Jackman) is secretly a killer with the help of a neurotic magician (Woody Allen himself).

Johansson is a great actress, all those who think she is all looks should look at this film where she plays a dorky brainy nerd (albeit hot as hell) obsessed with proving herself to be a real journalist.  She is as believable here as she was as the sultry mistress in ‘Match Point’, she is the new Allen Muse for a new generation.

Allen himself has not been this funny in years.  He is still a hilarious writer and so many of his jokes here are classic to his sense of humour.  Also, he is not trying to be the playboy as he does in so many of his films, instead here he is appropriately the father figure and it suits him.

This film is a totally enjoyable ride that is not so much trying to be a mystery as it is just a good time Woody Allen comedy.

Grade: B+

Though this film is fun and visually stunning, it is terribly predictable from the first five minutes.  I really wanted a mystery here and I was hoping that they were somehow going to surprise me and that the outcome would not be exactly what I saw coming…alas it was.

Josh Hartnett has a lot of fun playing a sort of dark hero caught up in a modern film noir through a case of mistaken identity.  He revels in some great one-liners and I hope he will continue to get more roles that let him get kicked around like this rather than the romantic leads.

Lucy Liu is probably the highlight of the film as Hartnett’s love interest, a hyper coroner thirsty to solve every mystery.  It is a joy to watch her stretch her legs by playing other than the bitchy dominatrix type.

Bruce Willis, Morgan Freeman and Stanley Tucci play the type of characters they always play and Ben Kingsley brings it with another creative characterization as The Rabbi.

A fun frolick of a film, but I saw it all coming a mile away.

Grade: B+

What the hell went wrong?  What went so horribly and terribly wrong to make this into a tedious cinematic experience?

You have Jared Hess at the helm, he who made ‘Napoleon Dynamite’ (2004), and as the co-writer; you have Jack Black, he of the gloriously insane humour…and yet this movie just totally sucks.

The plot is far too simple: Ignacio/Nacho (Black) works in an orphanage as a priest and cook, he dreams of becoming a wrestler and then he does.

The acting is atrocious.  Sure loud comedies often welcome over-the-top performances, but here Black is trying to mix his JB Tenacious D personality with a Mexican/Italian accent with a touch of God.  It doesn’t work.

Oh, and the object of his affection is a woman who basically just stands there looking pretty for an hour and a half.  Ana de la Reguera is lovely, like the love-child of Penelope Cruz and Winona Ryder, but she holds one emotion upon her lovely face for the whole movie…and I’m not even sure if it is calmness, peace, judgement or something entirely different.

There are a few, very few, good slapstick moments here, and Black does get a few, very few, laughs, but for the most part this was one of the more aggravating movie-watching experiences I have had in my life. 

Please let them do better next time.

Grade: C-

Even though I am a British Columbian, I am not a big environmentalist.  I grew up during the Clayquot protests and thus environmental activism has always been a part of my life living in the most environmentally conscious province in an extremely environmentally aware country.  Thus I have never really understood why so many Americans are in denial when it comes to the planet.  I get that capitalism thrives on ignoring global warming, but capitalism needs a planet to survive!

Al Gore is a brilliant man and this documentary proves just how much research he has done, how many years he has devoted to this cause, and that this is truly his passion.  The documentary does delve into Gore as a man on a few occasions, but it is at its strongest when it is simply Gore standing in front of a room of people explaining how our planet could end if we do not wake up and make a change.

This film is essential, current and integral to changing the way Americans think about the environment.

Plus, just about the greatest title ever.

Grade: A

I am actually shocked at how much I didn’t hate this movie.  I mean, sure the ending is totally predictable and you have to suspend your disbelief in many ways.  First you have to accept that two people can communicate through time 2 years apart with the help of a magic mailbox and second you have to assume that Sandra Bullock’s memory really really sucks, in fact it sucks so hard that she can’t remember the name of a man she kissed in a moment of passion or the name of a patient who changed her life.

But all in all there is some serious chemistry between Bullock and Keanu Reeves, maybe I just have a serious ‘Speed’ hangover, but I love these two together.  I don’t like Reeves in too many things, but he is hot as hell here and I really believe his character.  Bullock has some serious hair issues, but she is sweet and romantic in this role.

Sure the film is slow and you see it coming a mile away, but there is something to be said for a quiet little romance.

Grade: B

Wow, what a movie!

Director Chrisopher Nolan (2000’s ‘Memento’, 2002’s ‘Insomnia’ and 2005’s ‘Batman Begins’) solidifies his position as the premier director working today.  He has a style all his own and he does try for the big trick ending like M. Night Shyamalan.  Nolan’s genius comes in the trickery of time and circumstance, in knowing the character while not knowing what exactly he or she is capable of.

Hugh Jackman and Christian Bale star as two competing magicians in Victorian London.  They have a life-long cat and mouse game where each is, at one time or another, both roles.  Jackman and Bale are not Wolverine and Batman here, they are entirely believable.  Bale brings a harsh intensity to his role that might hint too much at the surprise ending, but his passion is exciting to see, reminiscent of his role in 2000’s ‘American Psycho’.

Frankly I am amazed that this film was nominated only for Oscars only in art direction and cinematography.  This film is superior to ‘The Queen’, ‘Little Miss Sunshine’ and ‘Letters From Iwo Jima’ in so many ways from style to acting to story.

A great achievement that ensures Nolan will not be remembered only for his Dark Knight.

Grade: A

The reason I saw this movie is because I work with children and children have made this movie a blockbuster (for a TV movie) and one of the highest-selling albums of 2006.  So it happened to be on TV today and I watched.

This movie tries to be the kind of good clean fun musical made popular in the 1940’s with Judy Garland and Mickey Rooney and in the 1960’s with Annette Funicello and Frankie Avalon.  However what this movie has in sparkling grins and thinner than paper plot devices, it lacks in decent acting, good singing and any sense of the actual teenage experience.

This is not a movie for highschool students, despite the title it is actual a movie for pre-teens who are imagining how awesome highschool is going to be.  This movie tries to convince kids that highschool is a clean-cut, racially diverse cross-section of America where everyone learns awesome lessons about how they can just be themselves.

In the end this movie is badly acted, directed, written and scored.  It is painful to watch.  Unlike the aforementioned teen musicals of past generations, this one is decidedly unrealistic in every sense.  While Judy and Mickey had to sing and dance to save the family from the poor house, the kids of ‘HSM’ are entirely selfish and annoying teens driven by their own egos and libidos, and there is no sex, no kissing, barely even hand-holding.  Where Annette and Frankie would always share one memorable smooch, apparently in the 21st Century we have actually reverted in what is acceptable for pre-teens to think that teenagers do. 

How horrifying it will be for these kids once they actually become a teenager!

Grade: C-

A very sweet, heart-warming film about an 11 year-old girl (relative newcomer Keke Palmer) who is attempting to win the National Spelling Bee.

The film centres around Akeelah’s relationship with her mother (Angela Bassett, riveting and powerful as always), her brothers and her coach (Laurence Fishburne in a grave and understated role).

It focuses a little too much on Akeelah coming from a low-income neighbourhood without really connecting her to the place or showing the darker side of that life. Also, the other characters are fairly one-note, while Akeelah is very well developed.

It is a nice little movie with an ending that wraps up a little too nicely. It will make you feel good.

Grade: B+