And I Am Telling You (I’m Not Going)
There are very few songs that can illicit the reaction in me that this song does.
I first discovered the Jennifer Holliday original version when I was about 12, and I would sit in front of my computer and just bawl. Her voice, so empowering, it wasn’t about the words, it was about a song completely taking over this woman.
In the years that followed I continued my infatuation, and when ‘Dreamgirls’ came out this year I went to the theatre and Jennifer Hudson made me cry. She had her own take, but once again this unbelievably powerful song just took over her body, mind and soul.
Then once again tonight I was watching, of all things, ‘American Idol’ and this girl Lakisha Jones busted it out. Last song of the night, because nothing can top it.
Even now as I listen to the Holliday and Hudson versions on my iTunes, my tears are welling up. What is it about this song? The lyrics are typical of the “my man ain’t walkin out on me” ouvre, and they are surprisingly unempowering, instead of saying she will survive, she is saying she is staying, that she will not give up so easy. So I suppose it is the music, but even that is overpowered by the voice. This is a song that when song well is incredible and when sung badly, is painful.
I think the spot that absolutely kills me is when the music stops and it is the naked voice cries out “You’re gonna love me” when the “me” hits that last desperate growl. Kills me, floors me, I cannot handle it. Especially the Holliday version…
I encourage you to check out the original Holliday version on iTunes and also, see ‘Dreamgirls’.
Does anyone else have a song like that in their lives, a song that when you hear you lose control?


